Yesterday was my last day at work. For most (some of my closest friends included), up until this blog post, you had no idea I was even thinking about resigning from what was my dream job.
Yes, working at a startup that seeks to help people was a huge dream of mine, and gosh was it a beautiful adventure.
But I have another life goal that I don’t want to keep pushing to the back burner. If I want to be a writer, shouldn’t I be writing?
Okay, now on to the big questions…
Why?
In vague terms, I have another dream that just wouldn’t leave me alone until I pursued it.
This blog has been a huge source of joy for me over the past eight months. I want to commit more time and effort to my writing here.
How will you make money?
The same way we all make money, by working. It’s just that now I don’t work your typical 9-to-5-day schedule; I don’t have an office or desk I have to be at; and I’ll be doing what I love: writing and creating.
This decision was not made on a whim; it took lots of prayer and thought. I am aware of the potential consequences. After all, I had to pay my credit card bill yesterday; my car payment is due tomorrow; and my rent is due on Friday. I also happen to live in one of the top five most expensive places in the U.S. If I let it, the weight of this knowledge crushes me until I can hardly breathe.
But to me, what’s more terrifying than running out of money is looking back on my life one day and thinking, “Why didn’t I chase that dream?” So, here I am.
Even if I fail, I will not consider it a failure. Having said that, I have no intention of failing.
But…But Money!
Yes, I know, we’re all worried about how we’ll pay the bills. But over the past six months, I’ve learned that the most precious commodity we have is not money–but time. I can always make more money; I cannot make more time.
What Can I Do to Help You?
“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
–The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
The most moving and unexpected thing keeps happening when I tell people I’ve left my job to pursue my dream: they ask how they can help me. People I barely know are offering to support me in some way.
Normally, I would balk at the idea of asking for or accepting help. Why? Out of sheer pride. However, I recently watched a Ted Talk by musician Amanda Palmer that changed how I view accepting help from others. Please watch it when you get a chance:
“The perfect tools aren’t going to help us if we can’t face each other and give and receive fearlessly, but more important, to ask without shame.”
-Amanda Palmer
I am not saying you owe me something or that I expect any help from you; I’m just saying if you want to help me, I’ll gratefully accept it. After all, aren’t we all where we are today partly because someone helped us?
So, here’s how you can help me:
- The biggest thing you can do to help me is wish me well and pray for me.
- If you have a spare computer monitor lying around, that would be a huge help as well.
- Oh, and cupcakes. I will always accept cupcakes.
Learning to Trust
“I will so trust that what is deep is holy, that I will do strongly before the sun and moon whatever inly rejoices me, and the heart appoints.”
-“Self-Reliance” by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Someone told me that, in entrepreneurship, there is a large amount of blind trust. I have to trust that this venture will work out. I have to trust that my clients won’t run out on me; they have to trust that I will do the work I promised. Perhaps most difficult of all, I have to trust in my abilities. It’s all about trust.
Today I go forth fueled by this “blind trust.” I cannot see what lies ahead of me, but I am saying to God, to my clients, and to the world…
“I trust you.”
P.S.
To all of you who have supported me in some way these past few days (you know who you are): Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
